threeredcoats

Archive for the ‘Girrant’ Category

The Different Kinds of Feeling Like Shit

In Girrant on September 30, 2011 at 10:55 am

1) You have a terrible headache in the morning, and you’re wearing the wrong shirt for the day… but it’s tolerable. No one’s treating you differently, and the guy you like hangs out with you that day and says that you look fine. Your professor’s at college are approving of what you say in class, and some random classmate tried to talk to you. You’re not THAT bad… if only your head didn’t hurt so much and if you were wearing a looser shirt, then the day would have been instantly fixed.

2) You missed the bus, skipped breakfast, and now you’re terrifyingly hungry AND sweaty (due to running after the bus, then quickly catching a cab). With that, you also figure out that you forgot to put deodorant on, so now you have to walk throughout the day fanning yourself and making quick runs to the bathroom to make sure you don’t smell as bad as you think you do. You show up in time to your second class (missing the first class) and find out that… Continue Reading → Read the rest of this entry »

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Life is not a Movie

In Girrant on September 29, 2011 at 8:07 am

If you cry yourself to sleep, the gods won’t play nice to you the next day by taking some load off your back. In fact, what might happen is that you’ll find yourself crying again the next day.

If you’re sitting alone in your house and chatting with your cat, you won’t get a moment of epiphany forming that o-shape with your mouth and suddenly getting up and running out of your house. In fact, if you DO happen to get an epiphany (which is least likely) you probably won’t go running anywhere, because a) you’ll be comfortable in your pajamas and your hair a mess, b) your parents will stop and question you, c) it’s never that urgent.

Boys aren’t everywhere. You’ll probably find yourself being single for ongoing years, and that’s fine. It happens to the best of us – or maybe I’m just saying that so that I don’t feel bad about my being single.

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Those Kind of Nights

In Girrant on September 28, 2011 at 6:39 pm

You know those nights in which you find yourself not happy to be home alone? Everyone’s out – family and friends – and you’re found all alone in your living room, filling the night’s silence with mellow Coldplay songs. Some nights you’d do so much for an empty house, but then there are THOSE specific nights in which you just feel like picking up the phone and talking to someone about God-knows-what – but then no one’s home. No one picks their phone up, or they give you the busy tone – NOT because they dislike you, but because they’re out having lives.

It’s the kind of night in which you tell yourself you’ll get your study gear on, and that you’ll work on assignments that you want to be turning in on time. Then you find yourself staring helplessly at the screen, hoping that someone interesting will go online, or that some life changing phone call Continue Reading → Read the rest of this entry »

Sunglasses

In Girrant, Pretentious, Sunglasses on September 27, 2011 at 7:27 pm

Sunglasses are not as cool as you think they may be, when worn as an aesthetic accessory. So many times I’ve encountered situations in which I’m left hopeless and clueless as to what to do because of the sunglass’d other. Among the many reasons I dislike sunglasses, here are a few:

1) Unreturned Waves
If I only recently got to know you and see you from a distance, I’d naturally wave at you because I like you. But do you realize how ego-shattering, how face-reddening, how “is s/he ignoring me!?” it is when you don’t wave back? And this is all thanks to the sunglasses you’re wearing; how am I supposed to tell whether you’re looking at me or not? And what if I take it hurtfully, decide not to wave at you again (under the assumption that you’ve intentionally ignored me) and then YOU take it offensively that I ignore you? It creates this whole chain of confusion and misunderstandings that really aren’t necessary.
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Pretentious Things People Do (Part I)

In Geeks, Girrant, Pretentious on September 24, 2011 at 12:07 pm

Just to make things clear, reading books, comic books, and dressing up as Spiderwoman for Halloween does not under ANY circumstance make you a geek.

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Things guys shouldn’t be saying on Facebook.

In Facebook, Girrant on September 24, 2011 at 11:50 am

“Thank You For The Like ♥ (:”

Reasons:
1) You don’t have to thank one for ‘liking’ a photo. They’ll never get a notification, and they might just never find out that you thanked them.

2) Man the fuck up up and take off the heart.

3) Stop trying to be so mainstream. It’s : ) not ( :

4) That’s a comment, not a title. You don’t have to capitalize every word in the sentence.

Theory: Keep Your Friends Close and Your Enemies Closer

In Girrant, Theories on August 10, 2011 at 8:08 pm

Theory: If you keep your friends close and your enemies closer, then you start realizing that your enemies are actually pretty cool and you become friends. That then causes your former friends to become your enemies, and your enemies become your friends. You then have to keep your new found enemies closer than your new found friends, therefore resulting in a neverending circle of enemies and friends.

Solution: Take them all out for drinks, and watch as it all results in one big massive orgy.